How do you survive this romance

 (one)@   [dream with a broken heart] 

it's not yours,

it's not yours.

it's not yours!

there are always some fools in the world.

although they know something are destined to the  end from the begining.

they still jump into it irresistably rather than keep themselves away from the tragedies,

they still let it happens...

if it is not yours, no matter how hard you try,

no matter how many efforts you used to put in,

it can never be yours

...i used to hear from the others,

they said,this is called....

.....fate.....

(two)@  [change and never change]

 Summer came very late this year and sometimes it is still freezing.

This year,

it's the first time i wish i was a bird n fly to wherever i want,

it's the first time i dont feel that time is flying as usual,

it's the first time i want to keep my self as busy as i can and im afraid to take a rest,

this is the first time i dont listen to my parents any more on some of the opinions and make my own decision,

but this is also the first time i feel i lost the most.

Can you imagine, two weeks ago, i took 8 cans of energy drink during the exam period,i havent accounted how much caffine i

have taken,but obviously that was a lot. In the following two weeks, i realised i couldnt sleep more than 5 hours every night.

Any one knows was that the side effect of the drink or not or maybe some other things affecting me all the time? I dont feel

very well but im sure i always pass those troubles under a lot of love and care. It's always those love n care to make me a

stronger person. I havent updeated my blog since July from last year,i have been too busy not only on the study but also feel

tired with my heart. This year, the phrase i have been using most oftenly is " i dont know why",yes, i dont konw why...i have

done so many things to make my parents angry with me since last September.I have such a strong feeling that i dont miss them

and i dont need their couragments as much as before, but i still love them so much. Perhapes the way of thinking of mine has

been changed, but my heart is still the same, mom and dad, i still love you so much...

~~~{my love never end,never}~~~

                                                                              

                                                                       I folllowed you, but i could not cath up,

                                          I was sleeping there with my hands still cold.

                                                       for which i can only accpet rather than escape away from it.

            Am i in love? I dont know,love is the most complicated thing in this world to me.

Am i lucky?

Sometimes i ask myself ,is that a bad thing that i always look at the good side from the people and the world?I can not think about the negative way, because i dont want to believe they exist.No matter what will happen to me, i just want to be honest,to be fair,to be the person carring with the innocent eyes forever.

 那年花开,我们携梦一路走来

----我知道没有人可以飘进风中,也没有事物飘零在流水时光之外
可是朋友们,突然间我很想念你们
于是我告诉自己
等到明年窗沿下结冰,大雁南飞的时候,我会回来再次拥抱你们

曾经的故事在岁月的长河里汇聚成很多颗闪着光泽的小石头,让我能在清缓流淌的记忆中徜徊往事,往事的人,一街一景,一句不曾忘记的话,尽在其中.我们相识四年中,关怀四年中,对你们只有感激,没有遗憾.我们的欢声笑语依旧在烟雨中,楼阁顶,操场边回荡,太多的地方铭记了我们的友谊.我珍惜与你们一起共度的时光,我也惶恐认识了如此可爱的你们,因为有人说天下无不散的宴席,无论多么坚固的友谊都会变成时间的粉末,在记忆的长河里慢慢溶解.我害怕终有一天当我们各自在自己的生活圈里忙碌着,幸福着,从此便不在有彼此的身影,我无法重复那些感动过自己的感动.我不能预见未来,我无法揣摩人类善变的感情.虽然我担忧,可是每当寂寞在天地之间带着喘息的时候,思念却在偷偷照顾着我,是你们告诉我,人总学会独自面对孤独,人总要学着长大,所以我坚定地走下去,走下去山长水阔.于是我渐渐明白,牵挂有时是一瞬,有时是一生,时光的漂洗会让记忆褪色,但总有一些人,一些事是难以忘记的.谁哭了,谁笑了,谁突然间回来,让所有的钟表都停了...

那年,我们挥手告别彼此,我们回身张望,可是我们并不彷徨.友情太美,美在它不多变,相信就算爱情已经沧海桑田,友情依然不变.

若干年之后,我是否还偶然出现你们的记忆中.....或许我们都不求天长地久,只求曾经拥有.

....I gave my heart to you, can i still call it mine.....

                                                                          ....Misha

他和她
他习惯把自己丢在热闹的场所
他以为这样可以掩饰掉落寞
她喜欢往这个城市最安静角落走
担心脆弱被人识破
他和她住同一栋楼
遗憾的是爱擦肩而过
他们孤独时候
都望着同一颗星球
他和她都在城市飘流
遗憾的是心无缘邂逅
他们彼此适合却无奈的错过
在人群中掩没
他渴望能有人分享夜晚和失落
她最怕独自面对黄昏和脆弱
其实他们彼此距离才两三个窗
不同的心一样寂寞

quote:

"When you try to grab onto something tight,

Your hand is really empty inside;

But when you learn to open it and let it go,

The whole world is in your hands!"

Chaning.....i can feel it

Im no more the same person as before

I feel grateful i met two amazing people this year...

My life gonna be very different...

-----Most of the ppl in the world stumbling through life time desperately to find the other half.Maybe some people never had to do that,however im definetely is not the person who was born with my half right there in front of me.

In everybody's life, there's a point of no return.And in a very few cases, a point where you cant go forward any more.And when we reach that point,all we can do is quietly accept the fact.Thats how we survive.

                                                                                                                                            Shirley H 

Thank you for all of those ppl who left their kind words on

this article

 but i have recovered from the awful situation now

and in order not to make this space full of tense,i delete wat i wrote 

well done,Shirley! 

from the start to the end, i thought i was right

n my family r just so unreasonable

So remeber that,no matter wats happened to u

dont panic,find the way to solve it out

Closing ur eyes isnt goin to change anything

Notin's goin to disappear just because you cant

see wats goin on

In fact,things will be even worse the next time

when u open ur eyes

I just wanna celebrate tat everything went to normal again

im free,yeah!!!

Im so proud to be a sagittaruas!

Because they were born naturally to be happy^^

And i wish all you guys r happy!

---------I cant live without music,so thanks for there r still music

                                            in the world^^

                                                                            Shirley H

幸运的我站在他们肩上，好不容易看到了你.......

                                                                        这个夏的尾声，很偶然，

                                                                  我以“朋友”的名义有了得以了

                                                                解你的机会，然而我一直

                                                                 静静地关注你，扮演着听众的

                                                                   角色，在对你充满好奇心的

                                                                           日子里不知不觉穿上了

                                                                                       厚厚的毛衣。

                                                   这次是我第一                    次这么近 

                                                    距离和你交谈                      着，不，

                                                     应该说是深谈着.                   我从不称

                                                  这里冬季为                                寒冬，

                                                   因为                                     只有在清晨

                                                                                               和傍晚才

                                                                                           真正体会到冬日

                                                                                         的严厉，若白天

                                                                                        走在无风的大街，

                                                                                     你一定以为这是一个

                                                                                     四季长春的城市。

                                                                                                                                                                   每一年的冬夏总在不经意中轮回, 没有特别

                                                                                                                    冷，也不是特别热, 似 乎很难画上季节的分割线......

  我很清楚你和我之间的区别，虽然一样好动

                                                                                                                         健谈，我却无法更好地表达，即使我以最快的速度融入这里的社会,我也永远只是八十分。同样是黑色的头发,褐色的眼睛，一样的肤色，但仅仅一个眼神,一个微笑就有了明显的区别。其实我自信，我自豪我拥有的一切，我不是羡慕你，我只是为不能更好得了解你而深深地遗憾。

 

从什么时候开始我的视线在有你出现的地方就不再转移，

你刻苦的工作，你对生活的挑战，你的热情与冲动,你对事物好奇的眼神，还有你的勇敢和公正让你身边朋友越来越多，大家都不由自主地靠近你。还记得上次公车上我们遇到的那个西方人吗？喝醉酒的他居然口无遮拦地污辱着这片土地上所有的亚裔人。当时的Jhone因为屈服于他

 庞大的身躯，以及用拳头相挥的威胁敢怒而不感言，而你却毫不犹豫地，用最礼貌的方式和他评理,并且用你的智慧打败了他。同样是local,同样是asian,同样在这里最大公司中工作，那么top的你们却表现出截然不同的一面。我想这就是你的人格魅力吧.....

 

对于你我不会报有任何幻象，尽管我欣赏你。其实有那么一点点心痛，但是我已经学会理智和现实。青年时代的懵懂我会把当作无价回忆好珍藏。

你告诉我年你要去香港工作，争取不同的工作经验。当我问你如果不能得到更高的报酬怎么办？还是要放弃这里很多人梦寐以求的公司时，你却眨眨眼说你一定会找到比现在更好的。

或许你去三年五年后还会继续寻找新的环境，真不知道你去了后什么时候才能再次见面

但是不管怎样，我也会努力向你看齐，等到你回来后，我一定也会像你一样那么出色！

------虽然时间不给我更多的时间去了解你，但是你却给了我很大的动力和努力的方向

thank you from the bottom of my heart

i appreciate wat you said to me and all i had

no matter where you r, no matter at wat tiim, i would like to be ur honest listener

Any time when u feel stress, just tell me.

Go!I believe you r the best!

                                                                   Shirley H

------ Green means a lot to me.......

I lyk walk in the park or lie on the grass to read,let the sunlight wash over me.Eyes closed tight,i give myself up to it,my ears turn to the wind whipping through the treetops.I feel i am wrapped in the deep fragrance fo the forest,i listen to the flapping of birds' wings.Im free from gravity and float up-just a little from the ground and drift in the air........

Lady in the water, M. Night Shayamalan's new movie is coming soon.
Lets see...

The Sixth Sense - Good
Unbreakable - Great
Signs - Okay
The Village - Good/Almost Great (The soundtrack makes it almost break)

For some reason this film just seems a little too cheesy for my tastes but I'll give it a shot depending on what I see of the preview.
I can normally tell if a movie is a Must See or not based on the preview.lol~

Copy from BBC Science&Nature-Body and Mind for people who interested in it^^

Read carefully,u do learn a lot from this!

Why do we sleep?

So why do we sleep? This is a question that has baffled scientists for centuries and the answer is, no one is really sure. Some believe that sleep gives the body a chance to recuperate from the day's activities but in reality, the amount of energy saved by sleeping for even eight hours is miniscule - about 50 kCal, the same amount of energy in a piece of toast.

We have to sleep because it is essential to maintaining normal levels of cognitive skills such as speech, memory, innovative and flexible thinking. In other words, sleep plays a significant role in brain development.


What would happen if we didn't sleep?
A good way to understand the role of sleep is to look at what would happen if we didn't sleep. Lack of sleep has serious effects on our brain's ability to function. If you've ever pulled an all-nighter, you'll be familiar with the following after-effects: grumpiness, grogginess, irritability and forgetfulness. After just one night without sleep, concentration becomes more difficult and attention span shortens considerably.

With continued lack of sufficient sleep, the part of the brain that controls language, memory, planning and sense of time is severely affected, practically shutting down. In fact, 17 hours of sustained wakefulness leads to a decrease in performance equivalent to a blood alcohol level of 0.05% (two glasses of wine). This is the legal drink driving limit in the UK.

Research also shows that sleep-deprived individuals often have difficulty in responding to rapidly changing situations and making rational judgements. In real life situations, the consequences are grave and lack of sleep is said to have been be a contributory factor to a number of international disasters such as Exxon Valdez, Chernobyl, Three Mile Island and the Challenger shuttle explosion.

Sleep deprivation not only has a major impact on cognitive functioning but also on emotional and physical health. Disorders such as sleep apnoea which result in excessive daytime sleepiness have been linked to stress and high blood pressure. Research has also suggested that sleep loss may increase the risk of obesity because chemicals and hormones that play a key role in controlling appetite and weight gain are released during sleep.


What happens when we sleep?
What happens every time we get a bit of shut eye? Sleep occurs in a recurring cycle of 90 to 110 minutes and is divided into two categories: non-REM (which is further split into four stages) and REM sleep.



Non-REM sleep

Stage one: Light Sleep

During the first stage of sleep, we're half awake and half asleep. Our muscle activity slows down and slight twitching may occur. This is a period of light sleep, meaning we can be awakened easily at this stage.

Stage two: True Sleep

Within ten minutes of light sleep, we enter stage two, which lasts around 20 minutes. The breathing pattern and heart rate start to slow down. This period accounts for the largest part of human sleep.

Stages three and four: Deep Sleep

During stage three, the brain begins to produce delta waves, a type of wave that is large (high amplitude) and slow (low frequency). Breathing and heart rate are at their lowest levels.

Stage four is characterised by rhythmic breathing and limited muscle activity. If we are awakened during deep sleep we do not adjust immediately and often feel groggy and disoriented for several minutes after waking up. Some children experience bed-wetting, night terrors, or sleepwalking during this stage.


REM sleep

The first rapid eye movement (REM) period usually begins about 70 to 90 minutes after we fall asleep. We have around three to five REM episodes a night.

Although we are not conscious, the brain is very active - often more so than when we are awake. This is the period when most dreams occur. Our eyes dart around (hence the name), our breathing rate and blood pressure rise. However, our bodies are effectively paralysed, said to be nature's way of preventing us from acting out our dreams.

After REM sleep, the whole cycle begins again.


How much sleep is required?
There is no set amount of time that everyone needs to sleep, since it varies from person to person. Results from the sleep profiler indicate that people like to sleep anywhere between 5 and 11 hours, with the average being 7.75 hours.

Jim Horne from Loughborough University's Sleep Research Centre has a simple answer though: "The amount of sleep we require is what we need not to be sleepy in the daytime."

Even animals require varied amounts of sleep:
Species Average total sleep time per day

窗外，黄昏的雨忧愁地飘落着，好似千万根细丝在结着一只巨大的网。伸手所及，触到的总是一片冰冷和苍凉，心绪也随之生出几分沉重与无奈来。

很多年前当我还是个住校生，我的校舍四面环山，出了校门后要走好一阵子山路才能看到一个小镇。记得周五一个初秋的黄昏，我和夏在小镇一家超市买了很多饼干与泡面作为住校四周的补给粮食，出来一次不容易，每两周才有一次机会出去，平时所有学生都不被允许走出校门半步，因此自然是要多买些。回家路上，小路空无一人，天也下着雨，我们行在雨中慢步行走着，有雨的黄昏更显阴霾。远处的山和近处的树都被雨隔去了好远，空茫而迷蒙。空气中弥漫着青草和泥土的气味，清新的令人陶醉。细细的雨点点滴滴地渗透着我们单薄的衣衫，但是并不觉得冰冷，只觉得一股沁心的凉爽扫尽了一天的疲惫，洁净的雨水也洗去了满目的尘土。我们携起手，愉快地走着、谈着、笑着，一任密密的雨点在我们的四周飘拂，偶尔呼啸驶过的车辆溅起飞腾的水花，在车灯的余光中象飞落的珍珠，滚动在我们的脚下。暮色四合，远处农家隐隐的灯火好似夜的眼睛，透过雨帘好奇地窥视着我们。我们并不急着往前奔，而是从容的在雨中漫步。我们淌着雨水，拨着雨丝，信步向着学校的方向。衣衫全湿透了，发梢滴着水，但心境却是何等的明朗与惬意。那是多么令人回味的浪漫情怀，多么令人艳羡的时光啊！只可惜，那一切已随那一场秋雨的落尽而永远不再，夏后来去了另一个陌生的城市，从那之后，我们也就没有了联系。如今也已事隔多年，而那与我一同走过黄昏的夏今又何在？何在？即使故友依旧，还能再有当年的情怀吗？
我不清楚了,只是仍然清晰地记得那个下着雨的黄昏，在雨中，两个曾经不识人间烟火的孩子互相许过一个诺言：无论世事有多么地变化无常，要做一辈子的好朋友.....

窗外，雨仍在淅淅沥沥地下着，淡淡的哀伤也仍在雨中飘着。不变的岁月，不变的黄昏，不变的细雨，那时的洒脱不羁，天真烂漫的情怀早已不再....不再....
我想念夏，想念那个一去不复返的纯真年代。

趣事一二则

----完成这篇文章本想publish,可是突然手提无线上网出现问题，于是只得copy再past到world

                                     里，再存入USB传入台式电脑，也算是忙乎了好一阵

                                                    为什么做每件事前都要大事小事先折腾一下才能太平？

(睡客)
公车像一个包罗万象的小社会，形形色色众生百态尽收眼底。
睡客，是令我较为头痛的一种。
前几日于友人办公楼下靠近QV的车站等车，可能正值下班高峰期，
车站人潮拥挤，马路上车辆也川流不息，丝毫没有感觉这是一片地
广人稀的国土。或许早就习惯了此地的生活，也没了初来乍到时的
那份陌生与不适。商店四五点关门，大街小巷八点后就难以捕捉人影等，
早已不觉是罕事。
不多时，309亮着橙色车灯，拖着疲惫整日并几乎客满的身躯，毫无
怨言地泊于车站。运气颇佳的我第一个跃上，坐到了最后一个位置，
引来未上车乘客羡慕的眼光。
冬日里开着暖气的车厢是极易缺氧的，周围很多人还未进入高速公路
便昏昏欲睡。那天我却并不疲倦。
身边坐着的是位打扮时髦的肥胖白领，高耸的鼻梁上架着一副黑框眼镜，
西方人的脸孔向来立体感强，即使车身摇摇晃晃地前行，也不必担心梁
上的眼镜会滑落。大如弥勒的一双耳朵挂着摇摇欲坠的一对绿色人造高宝石
耳环，随着车身轻微的晃动，在遮耳的金色披肩长发中忽隐忽现。不知名
的香水味在整个车厢里随空气弥漫着........
"The night,did you sleep well, my sweet heart......"正当耳中MP3放到Jesse
Mccarthney的一首动人情歌时，忽用眼角余光瞥见一团黑压压的东西正往
肩上倒，忙侧头，原是穿黑色呢大衣的她正东倒西歪，整颗头颅毫不客气
地往我肩上“亲昵”靠来，你闪开了，本以为会有“悬崖勒马”之效，没想到却
换来“再接再厉”，害得只占了1/3位置的我坐也不是，逃也不甘，好不狼狈。

(拔河)
西方社会里讨价还价现象市面上见得似乎并不多。
超超哥哥虽然是我眼中的香蕉人，可是讨价还价
的能耐似乎比土生土长的国内人还要厉害。
于我而言，这应该是门艺术，也不失为出去逛街
一大看点。
今年回去时于两位友人襄阳市场一日游。
卖者懒洋洋地开了个价，而买者需在短时间内依
市场情况作出及时反应。有人会以高八度的嗓门
嚷嚷：噢哟！搞啥么事！嘎句啊！侬糊糊洋宁头啊！
也有人语气冷淡到：巨了哈宁，伐值得。
还有正儿八经，略带商量口吻：钞票么带够，朋友强一点哪能？
还有义正辞言的拖长了音说：侬伐要搞，侬看看人家店，一色斯样
饿么事，钞票只有侬额一半！
买主们话音刚落下，就转瞬化为小心警惕的猎狗，两眼直勾勾瞅着
卖主的眼睛。
耐心脾气稍好的卖主会慢慢与你周旋，消磨你的意志，考验你的耐心，
逼你无路可退，只好成交。
暴躁者则对你旱雷般驳斥，让你无台阶可下。
狡猾者则用美丽的诺言做成诱人的鱼饵，让你心甘情愿
地交钱收货。
讨价还价好比拔河，拉拉扯扯，进进退退，减一分，加一分，不到最后，
输赢难辨。
倘若成交，大家好聚好散；若不成交，便各自拿出最后杀手解。
卖主一脸不屑和倔强，把物品放回物柜，口中嘟囔，最底了，
再底我不赚钱了。可此刻心里却嘀咕着，一点点，只要你再加一点点我立刻出卖。
而买方呢，义无反顾做调头走人状，可心里却磨叽着，一点点，
只要你再减一点点，我立刻回头。
于是乎，在这“各怀鬼胎”的情况下，卖者偷眼瞅你，你也斜眼睃他，此刻，
谁够定力，便可高唱凯旋之歌。

(饼干)
饼干，是孩子永远的零食。
它花样多，款式繁，味道各异，深受孩子们喜爱。
儿时，酷爱那一粒粒圆形，上面镶嵌着五颜六色糖霜的饼干。
那糖霜的形状像火，一把把幽幽地烧着，烧得我口流长河。饼干脆，
糖霜更脆，咬在嘴里“咔嚓”一声，金碎玉裂，一口一粒，吃得我
欢天喜地。每次跑到杂货店，看到擦得雪亮的玻璃瓶中的各色饼干，
宛如夜空中的星星，整个童年，整个童心都被照亮了。
另一种印象及深的是苏打饼干，四四方方，由如一张表情木然的脸。
我很不喜欢它，嫌它嚼在嘴里淡然无味。可是每每一生病，它便鬼魅
般的，伴着惨白的牛奶飘至我面前，吃在口里，干乎粗糙，好似在吞木屑呢！

------人类是最令人琢磨不透的动物，有时我并不清楚自己到底在想什么

                                                                   连我都无法了解自己，你们又如何来了解我？

                                                                                                                  我们根本不在同一世界

刚外出吃饭到家不到5分钟，收到朋友两条Msg,然后立刻发回，可是居然两次还没发完，就不小心按了Send键，其实本来是想打逗号的，可是不知为何一直按到发送键，这是以前从不曾出现过的情况

..................真是怪事............

现在时刻是夜间22点15分，2006年6月23日

心情还是觉得一团糟

这两天突然对花色软糖产生了兴趣，没事就出去买几包回来吃

还有City Swanston street上那家专门做糖果的小店面，每回逛街路过那里都要进去转移一圈，总是被糖果的香味吸引。那家小店里的糖果都是现做的，所以非常新鲜，不但种类繁多，而且色彩鲜艳，特别招人喜爱，我想很多人买回去还未必舍得马上就开封品尝，若是单作为一种欣赏品，那也是不为过的。这次没有照片提供，下次带个相机拍些照片回来。

哎，还是觉得心烦，突然发现其实博客和一般日记差别实在太大，到并不因为一个是可以任意添加修饰的网络工具，而另一个只是不能锦上添花的普通笔记本，真正的区别在于，实事上并不是任何心情都能写在网络上与任何人分享的，有些事情只能自己一个人来承担，即使写了也未必别人都能理解，人与人之间是有差异的。

Discontinuous

When i think this person at night, i feel as if i'm in a huge lift that slowly,silently carries me deeper and deeper underground.Finally,all the light around me has disappeared,all sound faded away.

Tonight,after cooking and eating a simple meal i went out for a walk and gazed up at the stars twinkling above,the ramdom scattering of millions of stars.I think even in a planetarium you wouldnt find this many.Some of them looked really big and distinct,almost as if you could reach outh and touch them.The whole thing is breathtaking. 

Like a butterfly dancing in the soft blowing wind,dreaming about the"Paris Lover", my favorite korean TV show,the most romantic one in my heart. Moon river,last song the prince saves it to the princess,they move their birsk step in the mild candle light,under the dim moon light...........
 

Growing Pains

(As long as we got each other )

Show me that smile again

Oh, show me that smile

 Don't waste another minute on your cryin'

We're nowhere near the end We're nowhere near

 The best is ready to begin

All in a cloudy daze

I look into your eyes and see them shining out

Holding you close this way Holding you this way

Is like having summer everyday

Ooh, ooh

 As long as we got each other

We got the world spinnin' right in our hands

Baby, you and me

 We gotta be

The luckiest dreamers who never quit dreamin'

As long as we keep on givin' We can take anything that comes our way

Baby, rain or shine

All the time

 We got each other

Sharin' the laughter and love

Promise me here and now

Nothing but jokes

 Will never come between us

You can depend on me

'Cause I need you like the air I breathe

Oh, oh

As long as we got each other

 We got the world spinnin' right in our hands

 Baby, you and me

We gotta be

The luckiest dreamers who never quit dreamin'

As long as we keep on givin'

We can take anything that comes our way Baby,

rain or shine

All the time

 We got each other

Sharin' the laughter and love

As long as we got each other

 We got the world spinnin' right in our hands

Baby,

you and me

We gotta be

The luckiest dreamers who never quit dreamin'

As long as we keep on givin'

We can take anything that comes our way

Oh, baby, rain or shine

All the time We got each other
 

最近比较烦，没有心思写东西。终于体会到什么是被压迫的滋味，胸口闷到透不过气，这个六月是21年中最令人厌烦的。我根本不想长大，做孩子让我感到自由舒畅。我讨厌你们这样催熟我早日成熟，其他方面我都能接受，唯独感情交友不用别人替我操心。不要干涉我的自由，我感情方面确实幼稚，也不在乎别人笑话我没有经验，可现在对我来说就是时间过早。如果真正遇到一份我可以欣然接受的感情，我不会退缩，可是当我觉得男女之间仅有淡淡喜欢便足够的时候，不可以要求我开始真正考虑恋爱的事情，或许对于别人来说这个年龄理所当然，但是对我绝对行不通。还有不要在我真正开始追求一份爱情时，开始唠唠叨叨告诉我只有长相圆头大耳的人才有福气，小鼻子小眼睛的人没有前途，不要告诉我不听老人言，吃亏在眼前。不要告诉我现实中的爱情讲究的是实际。我不是聋哑人，我会辨别好人坏人，至于长像一定要我本人满意才算过关，你们说了不算。再重复一次，该交的朋友我会交，该谈的朋友我会谈，我会好好享受生命赋予我的一切快乐以及磨难，

现在的我只想好好读书，有机会能和朋友一起游山玩水，

毕竟爱情可遇而不可求，火候不到，仍凭你们说破嘴皮也没用。

Ps:有人又说我比前阵子胖了些，可是很遗憾我不想减肥，因为没有必要。首先我没有胖到不能看，其次我认为按照健康标准来算，我非常健康。
 

	Dennis,we luv u!

---I konw there'll be no chance for me to see u in my life tym,but i still wanna say,i luv u so much.Cant remeber how many tyms i wanna pull myself back to the reality, coz i know we r not in the same world,however i never quit to miss u successfuly.So...let me submerge in this deepest addiction.....i dont need anyone's help, just let me flow down,down to the bottom of the river....

                                                                                                           ---Shirley with luv

To wirte down eveythin abt u would be a great thin for me although the words im wirting r childish n unskillful.From knowing u after the TV show iv seen,wat im thinkin abt the most of the tym is y im not a mixed child lyk u, then the distance between us wouldnt be tat far away,even i know in this world ,the probability of 2 unknow ppl to meet up by chance is very low.Haha, n i also understand clearly im not the only one thkin in this way, all of ur fans thinkin in this way.Ppl lyk u not just becoz u r good-lookin,they luv u in ur good personality.U r easy goin n treat all of ur fans kindly,ur hard-workin,ur modest,makes ppl feel tat u r a very close friend more than a famouse star.Keep on goin, Dennis,we can see ur future n ur fans will support u always.Dont feel lyk u cant bare too much luvs from us,coz u worth.We luv u more than b4. We hope one day u'll come to china,then every one there r willing  to be ur guid.Do u know how famouse r u now?There r not only ppl froms Korean lyk u , also ppl from china,TaiWan,i think even heaps of Asian  know there is a handson boy called Dennis.We r proud of u,from the bottom of our heart,really.

However there is one thin made us angry.The masters of ur official website hide ur 3 letters tat u wrote to all chinese fans.They also kept ur real e-mail address deliberately by telling us tat wasnt urs ,they said tat was just an address for ppl communicate there.They emphasized we could not send any e-mail to tat address, coz u wont see them.Dennis, we r dare not to tell u the truth,u r so kind to us n believe us,we dont want u sad.For those ppl who wanted to treat u as their own property,we'll forgive them, coz hatred wont resolve anythin, it only bring deep hurts.Those ppl who luv u in the honest way,they have seperated from the original website, theyv made a new one,in whicn ppl will countinue their dream to support u.Finally, we still want to say, we luv u,always luv u!
 

我的变化真的很快，快得连自己都跟不上，每一个新的idea都可以改变我的想法

“花好月圆“上岗不多时便退休了，取而代之的仍是一首老歌，爱的代价,希望你们喜欢

2006年5月29日                   晴

                                                —那些谈过很多次恋爱，或者自以为很老成的朋友们，没什么大不了的，真的，在感情路上要学的东西可多着呢，远远超出你们的想象，还是踏踏实实，珍惜身边的一切吧，别捡了芝麻，掉了西瓜~ 

今天在新科学家的杂志上读到一篇叫做"Through the mind's eye"的文章，

                                     里面透露说在不久的将来通过一种叫做fMRI的仪器去检测

                                                人类的视觉形态与结构，可以判断出他们正在看什么并指出他们所注视的焦点所在从而得知他们在思考什么。科技正以超出常人意料的速度迅猛发展，

                                                     一周不阅读科技信息，随意翻阅一则科普方面的信息杂志就能发现某某领域又有了的新的突破，

                                                 每次都带给人无比欣慰和无限惊喜。

昨天晚上和姑姑一起在楼下跟着一起看了一则婚外情的报道，

                                                                       本来想趁到水休息时刻顺便瞄几眼其他节目，但是看她正

                                               看得目不转睛，津津有味的，于是便也不好意思打断她，只能蹭在沙

                                      发旁跟着一起看了一会儿。中年妇女嘛，对这方面问题总是格外关心的。

                                  我在想现在科技如此发达，如果人们经济条件都还不错，说不定什么时

                          候那 个fMRI的仪器可以在调查婚外情事件上起到作用，成为一种调查工具。

 那绝对是我所听说过婚外情报道中最逗笑的一个，当然故事的结果也是令人深思的。

                                 一对夫妻结婚十年之久，夫妻之间也是相敬如宾，相互理解，

                                       但是最后因为丈夫一个令人哭笑不得的错误决定让他们两个最

                                          终走向了分离。话说这妻子最近发现丈夫的行为格外反常，

                                          总是一个人蒙在房间里说是整理最近要上交领导的一个

                                            份资料。每天晚饭过后便一头钻进书房从此一晚上就

                                               不再入面了，更可疑的是他每周有3天时间是深夜才

                                                  到家。妻子也很有城府，虽然看在眼里但却不露

                                                     声色，等着有了确凿证据时才敢做出相应的处理。

                    终于，两人的结婚十周年纪念即将来临。那天妻子特意精心打扮了一番，

                          预订了一家情调不错的法式餐厅，准备在那里和丈夫共进烛光晚餐。可是出乎意料的是这顿晚餐另妻子越吃越心寒。原因是最后丈夫迟到足足两个小时，坐了来饭还未吃

                                     完便嚷嚷着要回去。被泼了一头冷水的妻子就强忍着心总怒火

   与他一起回到家中。丈夫没有半句甜言蜜语地安慰，一头钻进书房忙碌地整

                理着资料。于是妻子按耐不住了，决定闯入书房一探虚实。

            她手端茶水，未敲门就进了书房，三步并作两步来到丈夫身边给他来了个措手不及。

                                             只见丈夫一脸惶恐，一下子入坐针毯般从桌椅上跳了起来，想把妻子支开，可是为迟已晚。

                          妻子发现他正开着QQ和一位名叫寂寞的百合的人正用一些肉麻的话进行着交谈。

         顿时她明白了最近丈夫怪异举止的来源，几尽疯狂的妻子无可忍受丈夫所带来的伤害和背叛，闹着说一定要离婚。这下可好，这丈夫到是急了，

                                告诉她自己真正爱的人还是她，他说自己和那寂寞百合是不可能的。听了这句话我心中很是莫名，何为最爱的还是她？如果真是那样何必背叛？那个“最“还起什么作用！丈夫其实确实不愿意离婚，可是无论他怎么请求原谅妻子仍然不改变初衷。最后为了挽回妻子，

                      他居然说了这么一句令人哭笑不得的话：你要怎样才肯原谅我？要不你也出轨一次，这样算我俩扯平了！在今后的日子里，丈夫三番五次地劝妻子出轨。

妻子当时很是纳闷，为什么总劝自己做这档子事，

难道丈夫是鄙视自己这样的年龄找不到好不成？

                                          看到这里，其实发现两个人都已经失去理智了，说法与想法都不在理上，

于是妻子为了报复也开始整日泡在QQ上，还就真找到了一个各方面都不错，

              名字叫做行云流水的人。两人虽然不在一个地方，但是突然有一天那人说下午就会坐飞机来看她。没想到还真说到做到了，行云流水约她在某酒店见面，到那里一看，

        人家居然还是个个子高高的帅气小伙。刚开始妻子还只是想恶意报复一下丈夫，

所以每次聊天记录故意放在电脑屏幕上，外出行程也一一告诉他，就连打电话也当着丈夫的面。

            这丈夫心里真不是滋味可又无话可说，毕竟是自己叫人家这么做的呀！

                                                                              可是事情越来越糟，妻子最后是真爱上人家了。

                  丈夫没有办法，只得想出怪招，假扮红十字会打电话告诉行云流水，

              说最近查出一个叫赵云的女士得了艾滋病，问她是否最近有和这样一个人

     有来往，这可把行云流水吓蒙了。丈夫正洋洋得意，可是好景不长,万万没有料到当妻子

          最后发现事实后，断然向法庭提出诉讼与他正式离婚,没有丝毫犹豫,夫妻十年婚姻就这样结束了.或许原本他们会很幸福.

看完这则短报后，我深刻体会到，爱情是不能报复的，一旦采取报复行为，你只会永远失去它。水能载舟也能覆舟，人们往往受伤是因为人们太擅于爱和报复。其实当你清醒后，你会发现大多数人是不吃报复这一套的，人们宁可屈服在眼泪和微笑前，人们痛恨对方的报复。爱情与婚姻其实真的是门学问，不靠自己精心栽培和不断进修不可能白头到老

题外话

知道吗？我听到如果有人承诺会爱我一辈子，我会觉得那个甜蜜的谎言，原因不在于能做到这点的人实在太少，原因在于这句话本身就是错误的，即使对方是真的爱我。科学家曾经说过，世界末日会在六十亿年后来临，那时，太阳中的OH核染料会用完，太阳会膨胀成巨大火球，然后solar system中的地球，水星，金星都会灰飞烟灭。所以，如果有人这么说，那是摆明了在骗我，所谓永远就是六十亿年后，我们绝不可能活那么久的。因此如果你要告诉你爱我用这种方式的话，我听了会很高兴：我爱你可以比你的生命更长久，但无法爱你比我自己的生命更长。说这样话的你会更实在些，哈哈。

还有想奉劝那些失恋的人们，想开点，放轻松点，恋爱是双向的，单恋也该有条底线，到底线了，那就该推出了，换条路走走，别老处在那里，腿要发麻的。你必须知道，有些人是你一辈子都不会爱上的，而有些人也一辈子不会爱上你，这也很正常，不可能全世界的人都来爱你，现在不爱你，等到世界毁灭也不会爱上你，所以何必哭泣呢？我曾经也失恋过，不过早想通了，现在告诉大家，希望大家也能活开心点。

(我把播放器的第一首歌改成了一首老歌,送上一曲周璇的花好月圆,

希望不要吓到大家) 

与二零零六年   五月二十八日   深夜

不知从何时起，养成了几乎每晚一人坐在房门外花园里看星星的习惯，不需要很久，只要小小一会便觉得那是一种莫大的愉快和幸福，我追求的就是那份闲然自得，远离喧嚣的宁静。静静闭上双眼，感受夜间赋予一个人的灵性，让思绪天马行空，与夜色慢慢融合。

回到家后心中一痒，便又想小写几句，一来仍旧睡意全无，可打发失眠的痛苦；二来珍惜一个人的特殊情感会随年龄增长逐渐烟消云散，于是希望年老时能有机会体会当年的那份感受。

我生于八十年代，身于21世纪，心却飘洋过海追溯着倒流的时光回到了曾经的旧上海，实说历史读得并不好，加上出来那么久长期不接触中文，很多东西早就扔给了老师。或许越是不了解，越觉得神秘而充满韵味；年代越是遥远，越觉得似乎自己和过去有着不解之缘。曾经也写过很多对于老上海回忆短文从而表达了自己对旧时光的无限憧憬，可是手头一晃，仍然落下了这个俗不可奈的内容，也许我这腔炙热的感情沉浸着某种归结性的意义，我想我避不开它。

现在的上海灯红酒绿，外表华美可内在虚无缥缈，没有一点韵味耐人寻思，好比一张巧夺天工的画，可是画面却是平面而不是立体。梦境里无数次梦到一个人拎着真丝刺绣的小包，梳着二十年代流行的发型，没有刘海，两侧头发从发根留直到中段开始烫小型的波浪式卷发，上面还涂了一层厚厚的着哩。脚着带小根的红色尖头舞鞋在路口拦上一部黄包车便跳了上去，目的地-百乐门。

脚步在柔美的萨克斯中轻巧的旋转，插曲，服务生的买单声，一同飘荡在橙色的灯影里，三分迷离，七分柔情........

回家路上，格外疲倦的我睡意朦胧地斜躺在黄包车中似醒非醒，当路过一条幽静的弄堂口时，听到一拴小窗内的留声机中传来金嗓子周璇咿咿呀呀的歌声，那声音有点沙哑，我想那台留声机可能有些年代了。。。

最近总喜欢在夜深人静的时候，翻出张爱玲的作品，抽出其中一本，体会她细腻的描写，在夜色中从她的作品里寻找老上海残留下的气息，仿佛看到在绿黯黯的灯光下，在暗室的一隅，有个悲伤的女人轻声呢喃着：黄卷青灯，美人迟暮，千古一辙。。。。于是我百转千回地想着，想着下面的诗句是怎样往下接的

今夜让我想起来了品冠的一首歌“张爱玲”：

       咿咿呀呀的胡琴
　　大城市小巷里
　　有一个梦被你摇醒
　　灰蒙蒙夜里
　　我想到你的手心
　　我看到你的眼睛
　　那年初春的雪飘呀飘
　　一直下不停。。。

胡琴咿咿呀呀地拉着，在万盏灯的夜晚，拉来拉去，述说着说不尽的苍凉故事。胡琴上的故事应该是由光艳的伶人来扮演的吧，长长两片红胭脂夹在鼻子两侧，唱了，笑了，袖子半掩着嘴......

这歌声，这笑声，我听着，感觉着，这夜色还真有点张爱玲........

美丽如果只是瞬间

                                     2006年5月26日 

No matter if there is anyone will read or not.Sometyms i just wanna write....with all my heart.

 Im lyk a lonely child walking along the corridor of momeries.....picking up those crashed stones with my cold hands,i dont even know wat im searchin 4 ,wat im lookin 4....

There r somefin in my heart i'll never share with the orthers......

I  wanna thx for the stars in the sky taking care of me every night,even it's raining day, i konw u r still there.........

                                                                                                 ----Shirley(撒手瞬间）

 秋日拖着几个月来持续守候大地的疲惫身躯悄无声息地把工作岗位交给了寒冬。在初交接后的一小段日子里，气候乍寒乍暖，终日忙碌于生活的人们勤快地符合着季节变化无常的节拍， 终于在某一天后，一身全副武装的厚实冬装不再更换时， 我才缓缓意识到，原来冬天真的已经到来了。今天晚上 我感到格外得冷，窗外没有风，可是却觉得寒气豪不费费力地顺着水泥渗透了窗户，像恶作剧的顽童一般一阵阵侵袭着

                         早早钻进被窝的我，冰冷的双脚让我合不起疲惫的眼，最后只得重新坐到

                               了电脑前，随意在网上找了个在线午夜电台，静静得听了起来。碰巧听到

                                  了电台讲述了“婚前婚后男人女人的现象”这样一个单元，引发了我

                                      无数感想。前几天在网上看到很多篇描写感情的心情文章，主人公不是

                                   与爱情背道而驰就是苦恋无果，或是随着空间的阻隔与时间的流逝，使情

                                 感由浓而淡，又由淡而终至于无了。透过一层薄薄的屏幕，我仿佛看到了他们

                                忧郁的眼神，尝到了满是伤痕的心所滴下的血滴，苦中带咸....因为那一定也夹杂

                              了辛酸的泪水。。。在缘分的牵引下，人们在茫茫人海中相遇，相识，亦是

                           无言的默契，心灵的相知，或在错误的时间地点，认识了对的人，那都是一个

                         美丽的开始，可自始至终能如“执子之手，与之偕老”那句话中所期望的却

                       寥寥无几。即使身边有些善始善终的例子也不尽想象中那么完美，婚前人们可以

                         海誓山盟，婚后却为柴米油盐争吵个不停，似乎成了家常便饭，这到底是爱情

                                经不起考验还是爱情走入成熟的最终结果？爱情。。。是柏拉图式，细水长流，

                                                                                 还是电光石火，燃烧过霎那间的激情，留下的却是

无尽的黑暗？在爱情路上我如同孩子一般，双眼的好奇，相信真诚，美好，浪漫与永恒，但却

  渐渐因为人生太多太多的不如意，残酷无情地践踏着一次又一次充满无限期待的心灵，最终害

                                         怕拥有爱情，把心藏在了一个坚硬而密封的信封里。如果在没有经历过

                                                            爱情的时候对爱情失去了信仰，是不是很可悲？或许是今夜我

                                                                           考虑多了，或许是这个夜太安静，我的思绪如脱了

          缰绳的野马在黑暗中一路狂奔.......... 虽然心早似乎心灰意冷，可潜意识里还是透着一丝

                                           微弱的希望，其实心中还是憧憬着一幅美丽的画面，就好像张爱玲

                                散文中写的“有缘相知、相悉、相聚是幸运的，那就珍惜吧！期待海风扑面时，

                                                             一起走向海滩，遥望远方海上闪亮的塔！有缘相遇无缘相聚，

                                             那就天涯海角但愿相忆，有幸相知无幸相守也希望是沧海明月天长地久。。。。。。

                               桌上橙色的灯光依旧伴着孤单游走的心，抬头望了窗外一眼，才发现西边的

                                                          天空以微微泛白，眼看着最后一颗星即将消失在无边的天际.....

                      累了......终于倦得连排斥寒冷的意识都没有了......

I wake up this morning n turned on my laptop,Xixi sent me Dennis's new photos, she told me tat he just came back to Korean.This new made me crazy n kept me in good mood n energetic for the whole day.Dennis's smile is lyk morning sunshine. Also, do u know wat happened?!In my laptop,the msn flash player hasnt been working for half yrs,my msn also gottta some problems tat was,every tym my friends saw wat i typed but i couldnt c theirs in the msn conversation window.Wat suprised me this morning was everythin had been fixed suddenly after i received Dennis's photo,^^ ha ha, now i luv him 10tyms more than b4
 

We went to a Chinese restaurant to have hot pot which was my favorite.We had very very nice food there.That photo on the left was our Yummy assorted sushi boat.Ummmm....i also took some photos abt狗不理bun(which is a kinda of round bread comes from China),but it were not clear, coz my hand moved when i took the photos.
 

.
 

 I gave a happy smile in front of the door of the restaurant n i didnt forget to give my mom a call after i went home, i wished her a very Happy mother's day.

Yeah!!!!

今天气温较前两天暖和多了,放学后我一个人坐在洒满阳光的书房 里,思绪在手中

半杯热咖啡中渐渐沉淀. 记得小时候我最喜欢偷偷跑到军部大院最 后几栋房子的

天台上,生怕被脾气古怪的老干部发现,又被当作捣蛋份子带到爷爷奶 奶面前. 我喜

欢无忧无虑地躺在高出天台2米的水泥墩子上,手里面晃着刚摘好狗尾 巴草,静静地

仰视天空,那时天空.蔚蓝色天空威风时而阵阵,经常有鸟儿带着清脆的 叫声划过

无边的天际,朵朵飘动的白云牵引着我欲闭欲合的双眼的视线,那里曾经是 我的世

界.

 我小时候是个十分好动顽皮的女生,估计板凳还未有坐热一分种又已经不 见了踪

影.有一次中秋节可能我玩得忘记了时间,后来害爸爸妈妈焦急得挨家挨户找 我,最

后发现我正潇洒自在地坐人家家里啃椰蓉月饼,据后来爸爸妈妈说当时那 张

脸已经黑到分不清是男是女了..........还有一次和2号楼的朱静说好,半夜里2点

到 大院的活动室门口见面,具体好象是进行什么双杠特别训练.后来我真悄悄跑那

里去 赴约了,可是等了足足40分钟也不见她踪影.事后问她为何放我鸽子,她脸一红

就给 了我一句话:天冷,我没睡醒".........

真怀念以前简单单纯的生活,我在大院里整整生 活了9年,现在回忆起来,觉得大院

里的孩子真的要比外面的小孩纯朴多了.这几年我有一件事不明白

的就是我怎么能从那么好动的一个人变成现在能够 一天做在家里看书的"乖小孩,

当然心还是栓不住的.如此"折磨"自己好像是1年半前突然"觉悟"到原来学习与

生活的最后目的还是金钱,哎!以前那个对金钱不屑一 顾的我哟!似乎"领悟"到有钱

能使鬼推磨的那句话真正意义.于是无奈之下,"接受"了 金钱重要的道理.是啊,毕竟

我生活在现实中,完美无缺的世界是没有人与我一起经 营打造的.但另人欣慰的是,

我不会因为金钱出卖生活和爱情,也不会因为金钱戴有 色眼镜把人分为不同的档

次. 其实,那时以为自己五年后或十年后会很不一样，过 了这么多年，结果，发现

自己的心态一直没有改变过，除了不再那么幼稚了.......

                                                         -----有些时候,无论外界促使人们有多大的变化,他们的本质是不会改变的,他们仍然惦记着心中那时,那个地方的那片天空